“An impromptu celebration - Big Daddy V heard the hottest couple this side of Alderaan’s smouldering remains are getting hitched - well, as long that cheeky motherfu**er Emperor Palpatine doesn’t cover the Universe in a cloud of darkness and servitude. Oh you bat sh*t crazy sith, you”
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He’d always wanted to join the Emperors Royal Guard. Jim’ll fixed it for him.
horrificmedium asked: While I understand the need for the Dark of the Sith to be seen alongside the canine equivalent of Charles Manson, has anyone made any consideration of the wider Star Wars pantheon to be pictured with their mutt-faced counterparts? Admiral Ackbar with Alsatians? Wedge Antilles with Whippets? Pugs in X-Wings?
I may not be able to speak for the rest of the Sith. But the tale of one Darth and his dog struck me as a story that needed to be told. Imagine the luck, to be a half blind despot with breathing difficulties, no love interest, picked on for being white with a black man’s voice and stuck in a tight black mask sporting bad hands. Then from nowhere, the Emperor picks you to receive a hypoallergenic guide dog that’s really fashionable and cuddly and reminds you of a pigeon you crushed with the Force as a child. It was wonderful, until darkness fell when Darth’s “pussy of a son” and his “white meat sausage feast of a daughter” (his words) rejected him and smashed up eveything he held dear, he hit the bottle hard. After getting drunk, stealing a Tie fighter and returning it smelling of urine and midi-chlorians, the Emperor kicked him out. The poodle was the only family he had left. They fell in love, at least, Darth did, the poodle was hard to gauge.
Who do you think he left his Death Star to in the end? Luke?
I just don’t think Ackbar is capable of that kind of emotion. He probably just owned a shit crab.
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Of course a man with breathing difficulties would own poodles: Poodles are often cited as a hypoallergenic dog breed. Their individual hair follicles have an active growth period that is longer than that of many other breeds of dogs; combined with the tightly curled coat, which slows the loss of dander and dead hair by trapping it in the curls, an individual Poodle may release less dander and hair into the environment.
Thanks to Shwin
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